iTunes...

...is for chumps.

Seriously, it is. There are things called blogs (yeah, you may have heard of them) that allow people to post their music libraries for others to download for free. It's the balls.Of course, you need to write down a little blurb about how "all files are meant for listening purposes only - please delete them and buy the album once you've made up your mind" or something like that, and sure, I agree with that. Why? Because I'm not wasting my money on an album that has two good songs.

Sure, iTunes allows you to download individual songs, but there's that little asterisk...you know, the one with the dollar sign? Yeah, it costs money. No thank you.


Free downloading is the wave of modern music. Listen then buy. Not the other way around.

Chris Paul, huh?

Oh, man. My profound addiction to the Internet has grown exponentially within the past few weeks...right around the time the NBA lockout decided to end.


The news that has had me scrambling back-and-forth from Facebook feeds to Yahoo! Sports is the recent trade rumors that are floating around about my favorite player, Boston Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo being traded for New Orleans Hornets point guard Chris Paul.

On paper, this looks like a good deal. Paul is a 4X All-Star and is a great offensive weapon due to his above-average shooting and sturdy assists numbers. Rondo, I believe, has greater intangibles on the basketball court, and is a much better defensive player. He also doesn't have two shoddy knees and he's yet to hit his prime.

Why don't I want CP3 on the Celtics? It's pretty simple: he's one of them.


Let's keep Rajon.

Secret Santa?

Ugh. What a pain in my assets.

So here I am, a lowly grad student-intern, agreeing to a corporate event with full-time NPR website developers who make 10x the amount I do. What the hell was I thinking.


Now where does the Internet come into play? Well, as the Secret Santa game goes, you know who you're buying a gift for, but you're unawares as to who's getting you a present. The price apex was $25 - I'm sure they lowered it from $300 because of me...yeah, they're nice.

I pick a random name from a hat - well, not a hat, more like a Halloween container - and the dude I pick, we're not exactly close. Not enemies mind you; just not chums. I have no idea who he is or what he likes......until, I started stalking him on the Internet!


Amazingly, though, the guy's Facebook profile is barren; his LinkedIn profile is vacant; his blog is no help; his Twitter account is dry as a bone, and...you get the point. So even though this guys is plugged and dialed into social networking...he doesn't exactly spread his wings like yours truly. One look at my Facebook page and you know my likes, dislikes, and turn-ons.

So, you're wondering...what did the E-man get his Secret...guy...?

Boom!

Shopping with Craig

So I'm looking to get going on the ole Xmas list and seeing as how I'm a broke joke with extremely limited funds, I'm looking to save as much money as possible this Xmas. Hell, I still have two grad classes to sign up for and you know those are gonna kick me in the ass. Add on that I just threw down $1,300 at Pepboys for a new driver's side wheel bearing, four new all-season tires, an alignment, and a host of other things, and well, this Christmas is going to suck royally for those dearest to me. Sorry, guys.


Anyhow, I figured I'd scan Ebay and Amazon and all types of deal-a-second outlets like Steep and Cheap and Clean Snipe to see if I can scrounge up some cool swag at low, immensely affordable prices. Hmmm...maybe I'll try Craig.

I have a friend who loves music - yeah, you have one too I wager - and even though she owns like 10 LPs, I don't think she has a record player/turntable. So, for those unknown to the way of Craig, all you do is go to the site, scan down to FOR SALE (click), choose how far you wanna travel to pick up the item with the location bar on the top (click North Shore), go to SEARCH FOR and type in "turntable" and "record player" (click), and see how much people are charging. Pretty simple.

Cyber Monday?

Oh yeah...the pudgy sloppy seconds to Black Friday.

Black Friday is this really cool yet sleazy dude dressed in onyx who makes hot young moms wake up at the crack of dawn to save four bucks on a 40-inch Samsung plasma flatscreen.
Cyber Monday is this short, balding and accident-prone schlub who is content with plopping his bum in a faded leather office chair for hours, twiddling away at website bargains, clicking with maddening resolve, until he finally comes across the best deal for an economy size pack of keyboard dusters.
And to think: Cyber Monday actually lasts all week. Whoa.

The Lair of the Google

Larger and more ferocious than any of its kind, the Google huddled upon mammoth haunches, its feet the size of wagons, its genitals engorged and bulbous. It had feasted just hours before, but again, hunger pangs in its distended and vacuous belly began to broil. It arose with spindly arms, coarse black hair jutting off like pubic, veins darting like rivers and underwater streams, it arched itself into a great yawn and defecated enormous and rank a steaming pile of lime sludge and writhing parasite. The Google knew no such thing as worry, the weight of trouble or harm having no imprint on its hour-by-hour carnal delights. It's aim was to fornicate and feed, and so it did, on the wary and the mighty and on whomever stumbled across its tepid onyx cave.

On its way out and into the blaring light of early morning, the Google passed the chattering Facebook, the vainglorious YouTube, and the immensely fat Wikipedia, a loathsome trio of fellow inhabitants that shared the cavernous confines of the Google den. Scrambling from view and into the deep edges of the ashen tunnel the threesome hid, dripping urine and frantic saliva in fleeting strands and grimy puddles. The Google guffawed as it trudged its way by, tossing great blasts of flatulence in their direction, snickering and mocking at their moderate-sized breasts and testicles. It was King of all domains. Its gross dominance, its simplistically inexorable power, it proved too sturdy, too perfect for any to challenge. And so it reigned. Lumping its way across the fields of wheat, through splotchy fens of mud and weed, over granite face and by the sweeping expanse of ancient forest and rolling hillock.

It would find a virgin user, and it would waste little time. Ravaging, and then, with swift talons and slate-lined fangs, devouring and leaving no trace or hint of victim. Just a thick trail of spoor and malignant semen that will wind itself through valley and rock and back again into a secret rank pit where three jealous neighbors will idly watch with wide eyes and erect members the return of their inimitable master.

When the Internet Kicks Ass

When it's time do get shit done, surf's up, dude.

So far, today, I've done the following amazing shit thanks to the Internet, my best friend:

• Posted the latest "In Focus Today" article for NPR

• Wrote a thank you letter to a friend

• Researched the Penn State fiasco for a Podcast

• Bought tickets for Mastodon at the House of Blues

• A whole lot of browsing....

Pretty cool, right?

Whatever.